A High Wind In Jamaica

A High Wind In Jamaica

by

R.E. Prindle

 

The New York Times has given front page space to the most amazing non-story every seen on the propaganda sheet, pardon me, putative newspaper.  They title this piece, it reads more like a movie idea or scenario than not:  1 Pistol, 9 Killings:  An Epidemic Overseas, Spread by U.S. Guns.  Takes place in Jamaica.

Jamaica!  The most violent place in the world, tops Chicago by a mile.  Jamaica was the first visit of my wife and I outside the US.  Our travels began there.  One of the most horrific experiences of my life.  I thoughr sure we were going to be murdered or worse a half dozen times.  Kingston, Jamaica, oh, and Montego Bay.  Christ almighty.  There was more violence and crime in an hour than any place in the universe.  One guy riding double on a motor scooter—a motor scooter—shot an extremely steatopygic fat women in the right cheek of her ass and rode away screaming laughter.  I saw this.

I will say one thing in Jamaica’s defense- their newspaper was a hell of a lot better and more honest in its reporting than the NYT.

But, to the point.  Once I see a byline by Azam Ahmed I know that this loyal American, (he was born in the USA.) is going to bash the country he loves so much.

Here’s the first three or four paragraphs.  Commentary later.

CLARANDEN, Jamaica—She came to Jamaica from the United States about four years ago, sneaking in illegally, stowed away to avoid detection.  Within a few short years (is a few, the same as four), she became one of the nation’s most-wanted assassins.  She preyed on the parish of Clarendon, carrying out nine confirmed kills, including a double homicide outside a bar, the killing of a father at a wake and the murder of a single mother (single MOM would have been more heart rending) of three.  Her violence was indiscriminate. She shot and nearly killed a 14 year-old girl getting ready for church. (On the street?)

With few clues to identify her, the police named her Briana.  They knew only her country of origin—the United States—where she had been virtually untraceable since 1991.  She was a phantom, The eighth-most-wanted killer on an island with no shortage of murder, suffering one of the highest homicide rates in the world.  And she was only one of thousands.  (One of thousands?  That’s a lot of murder. However she was from the US making her special.)

Briana, serial number 245PN70462, was a 9-millimeter Browning handgun.

An outbreak of violence is afflicting Jamaica, born of small-time gangs, warring criminals and neighborhood feuds that go back generations—hand-me-down hatred fueled by pride.  This year, the government called a state of emergency to stop the bloodshed in national hot spots, sending the military into the streets.

 

Jamaica has always been in a state of emergency .  I and my wife were in a state of emergency, eager to get out.  Kingston-my god!  I would suggest that Azam get a new role model for his fiction as there wasn’t one verifiable fact in the story above.  There is a good movie in there though.  Or perhaps it’s already bee made- Jimmy Cliff in The Harder They Come.  Now, there was the real Jamaica.

This piece is all fiction and it can be developed for the movies.  For instance, Briana perhaps arrives from the US by ship but when she disappeared in 1991- virtually disappeared that is, it was from Jamaica where she had been raped and gangbanged.  Fleeing to Mexico she entered the US from Brownsville, illegally, so actually as native Jamaican she wasn’t entering Jamaica illegally as Azam reports.  Of course we’re dealing with virtual facts here so we can make it up as we go along.  Once back in Jamaica with her American made 9mm Browning, she had apparently never heard of a Glock, she began tracking down the gang bangers who hurt her sore in mind and body.

Now, these gangbangers, and indeed, all Jamaicans had been reared on American records, movies and violent video games.  Without these three items and the Browning, Jamaica would have been a sunny happy go lucky place.  All singing and dancing as they say in Hollywood.  Zippity do dah if you know what I mean.

The Times should change their motto to ‘All The Propaganda We Can Create.’  When you create news is that the same as faux.  Anyway, just in case this movie idea is acted on by Tarantino, I get half or you’ve got real trouble buddy.  Where’s Matt Damon?