The Civil War Never Ended

The Civil War Never Ended

by

R.E. Prindle

Note:  This is supposed to be humorous, but as they say in Hollywood, based on a true story. 

Considerable evidence exists to show that the Civil War began in England in 1066 when Big Bill Norman stepped ashore at Hastings with his hordes and pasted the natives.  The Normans, named after Big Bill known in those days as William the Conqueror but now edited to meet current standards proceeded to enslave the Anglo-Saxons who had been lounging around the area holding the territory for the Normans.  The Anglo-Saxons considered their enslavement a betrayal.  A fierce debate concerning this so-called betrayal is still raging.  The reader is invited to make up his own mind.  Get a few more facts first.

Over there in East Anglia, on the East side of England, this slavery bit, iron collars and all did not go down well.  A great deal of resentment was stored away.  This was before the days of psychoanalysis so it went into their unconscious but not all that deep.  This resentment blazed up in 1600 something when the East Anglians rose up and slew the good King Charlie the One.  Old resentments die hard and a lot harder than you think.  A lesson to be borne in mind.

The fight would have been contained on English shores but for the fact that the New World had been discovered shortly before Charlie’s head hit the basket, or he dangled, I forget which but when you’re dead how important is it?  Escaping Charlie’s and his dad Jim’s oppression, real or imagined, a couple decades before a largish body of East Anglians now going by the name of Puritans fled across the big water, much bigger then when boats were slower, while sometimes not arriving at all, to land on the sparsely populated shore that they named  New Anglia and that became New England.

Well, wouldn’t you just know it?  No sooner were they getting settled than this fellow Cromwell from Old Anglia killed Charlie and seized England.  Now the Anglo-Saxon ruled the roost and those damn Normans, now going by the name of Cavaliers, had to hightail it across the water too.

They now, in their turn, crossed over to the New World but veered South and formed the colony of Virginia, named after an English queen of doubtful virtue, don’t let the name fool you.  It’s true that Charlie was a Scot and not a Norman but as nothing was named after him in the New World, it didn’t matter.

So, now, here is one of the great overlooked facts of history.  The Puritans of New England were glaring almost eyeball to eyeball at the Cavaliers.  I have no doubts they would have gone to war right away if the older colony of New Amsterdam, now New York, Old York is North of East Anglia in the Old Country, had it not been blocking the way.

But there was blood in the eye of the unforgiving Anglians.  They stewed, their resentment festered.  Then the Norman’s enslaved some savage Negroes from Africa.  There, the Anglians thought, they went and did it again.  It was a habit not a one off.  But this time the Anglians were going to get those bastards and get them good.  Kill them all.

Well, to make a long story medium long the Anglos began working up a head of steam about slavery even though they were not pure themselves.  It wasn’t so much that they cared about the Africans, hell, they were just a bunch of savages anyway, but that slavery bit…if you know what I mean.  We was slaves too and we’re not going to tolerate slavery now.  If the Jews had been there in numbers it would have been quite a gathering of ex-slaves and slaves.  A monster convention.

So the Anglians whipped up the bloodiest war there ever was and by force of excessive numbers, conscripting a whole lot of people who didn’t have a dog In the fight, they drove Old Dixie down. Yes, sir.  They drove Old Dixie down.  If you think that was enough for the Anglians, it wasn’t.  They wanted to kill off the whole damn lot of those Normans, cum Cavaliers and any other White men who got conscripted, no distinctions.  Justice is justice, yes, sir.  Stern justice.  Remember that.  The field of Hasting’s will not be forgot although I don’t think it was mentioned at that time.  I just made an historical interpolation, that’s all.

Well, those damn Yankees would’ve murdered the Southern Chivalry for sure except for, if you remember, New York was in the way, as well as Pennsylvania that had been added later.  Cooler heads prevailed so the Yankees were reduced to imposing Reconstruction.  They stripped that Chivalry of all weapons and denuded them of all rights and then made them subjects of their former Negro, African, dark slaves.  Racist minds considered this an indignity, but the Negroes enjoyed it.

Yankee power would fade after a while and while Dixie didn’t rise again the White Folks would break their hold and bring their own heads level with their shoulders again.  After another little while they had a silent revolution that was called Jim Crow and regained control of their country.  Oddly enough they aligned themselves with their New England enemies and became the Democratic Party.  Republicans had left a bad odor in the land.

Now, where was I?  Oh yea, Jim Crow, believe it or not but the Rebs imposed Jim Crow on the whole of the United States.  Then Jim Crow came to a crashing end in 1954, no whimper there, when the Negroes and their Northern allies staged a bloodless coup, a legal decision called Brown v. the Board of Education, something like that.  Yes, sir, Jim Crow was over and the Liberal occupation of America began.  Another revolution of sorts.  Not unlike the first Reconstruction, the disenfranchisement of Whites began.  You was with ‘em or you was Nazis.  Yes, sir.  The Yankees and allies became the Party of Virtue while any who objected to the occupation was of the Party of Evil, styled Nazis after the Party that fought Communism in the Old World.

The Party of Virtue had it their way, no matter what Party occupied the White House until 2016 when the game went wrong somehow.  It wasn’t supposed to be that way but it was.  The Virtue Party has kicked against the pricks, refused to accept the voice of Democracy that said they had overstepped the bounds.  The Virtue party however became unvirtuous and would not accept the will of the country.  Democracy or no democracy they should have won, they thought and said, hell, they even rebelled in the streets,  they made Sumter look like child’s play.  It is too early to tell, but maybe the Second Reconstruction is over and on the National level the Johnny Rebs are back in control.

As you can see, there is nothing new here, the war goes on, only the weapons change.  What began in 1066 in England is still being fought out today.  Will it end here?  Nobody knows.  The wheel of fortune is still spinning, the vagaries of history is still happening.  My only hope is that it will be the best thing for the country.  This I do know, it won’t be right if it comes from those Damn Yankees.