Humor In The News

Humor In The News

by

R.E. Prindle

 

This is the funniest news paragraph I’ve read in a very long time.  From The WSJ 9/14/19 headline:  China Waives Tariffs On U.S. Farm Goods.

 

China will exempt purchases on U.S. soybeans, pork and other agricultural products from punitive tariffs, in a move that appears aimed at addressing one of President Trump’s demands during the protracted trade war

Oops.  China can’t feed itself.  They require US soybeans, pork and other essentials that they can’t provide for themselves.  Oops.  They think they’re doing the US a favor by removing ‘punitive’ tariffs. Not at all.  What they are doing is demanding that the US provide them with food essentials. Begging even.   How hilarious this is.

What President Trump should say is that no, no, if you want us to feed you then you must provide us with an incentive and that is this and this and this and this.  Then, no problem, we are shaking hands.  The very idea that the Chinese are caving to US demands!  How can I or anyone else stop laughing.  Concede or starve China.  What about those other sources from whom you were going to buy?  Well, what about them?

And my message to leeching US farmers is this.  The Pres. Has put you in the driver’s seat.  You can expect no more problems from the Chinese.  Now that you can recoup every dime you temporarily lost from China you can repay the American people every goddamn billion you extorted from us in your anguish.  Give that money back.  We need it.  You have been compensated and how.