The Republican Debates: War Of The Words, First Round

The First Republican Debate:

The War Of The Words

by

R.E. Prindle

 

The first Republican debate was a hoot, a great entertainment, real showbiz, with a wonderful caste of performers.  The good news is that the candidates intend to do something; the bad news is that that they intend to do what they aren’t doing now.  What are you supposed to think?  Nevertheless it was a really wonderful colorful show full of sound and fury, a three ring circus but alas, with no aerials.  Next time.

The highlight of the show for me was the Abbot and Costello act between Christie and Rand Paul.  Top notch.  Paul’s facials were terrific.  Great laughs.  For some reason, well, perhaps because they were shills the ringmasters all thought that Christie got the better of Rand while I though Paul humiliated Christie.  Drudge’s poll numbers seemed to confirm my impression as Paul drew a 7% favorable while Christie was weighted down with a meager 1%.  Kudos to both great standups and a huggie to each.

The main attraction in ring one was the hard punching Jack Dempsey lookalike, Battling Donald Trump.  Did it with one hand tied behind his back.  It was kind of get Donnie night; let’s see how badly we can humiliate him.   My advice is to give that up; Trump is bullet proof; he can’t be hurt.  We all know what a rotten guy he is but being rotten is just the right quality for the rotten job ahead.  We all know he’s slugged it out amongst the really big tough guys and like the former Cassius Clay he appears to be unscarred.  Lost a little hair but, what the hell?  At least he’s still on his feet and slugging.  He knows the ins and outs of tough dealing both dirty and otherwise.  Valuable knowledge in any day and age.  That’s the kind of guy we need to duke it out with the heathen Chinee.  Go get ‘em Don.  How come only Don mentioned economics?

Sex scandals are useless.  If Don hasn’t laid them all, perhaps even like Hercules, fifty a night, he’s not the man he lets on to be.  I believe he must have made it with the head inquisitor (no pun intended)  Megan, oops, Meagon, did I get that right? Kelly.  At least that’s the way their little set to looked to me.

Don was fearless aiming well directed shots and timely blows to the ringmasters’ flailings.  Apparently he had to explain life to these dewlaps.  If you want to know Don’s methods study the life of that infamous bench sitter Bernard Baruch.  Bernie virtually controlled Frank Roosevelt.  FDR complained that Bernie owned 60, count ‘em, 60 congressmen.  They voted the way Bernie wanted.  Beginning to figure Congress out yet?

So when the Trumper explained the facts of life to the ringmasters that hell yes, when you give a million you expect something in return.  When Bob Dylan’s friend explained that everyone who gets something has to give something he reached in his pocket and felt with his thumb and gave her his very last piece of gum.  Everybody must give something for something they get.  Yeh, it just follows.

Then the lordly Don looked down the row and said: ‘All these gentlemen have come to me for contributions.  All those gentlemen shifted from foot to foot.

For the rest it was a wan crew, Marco Rubio did his Mickey Rooney act, Huckabee scored a great emotional high for knocking Obama’s ridiculous habit of calling Republicans terrorists.  Walker, from whom much was expected, proved disappointing.  Nice fellow but not the right timber.  He pledged no daylight between Israel and the US if elected.  A couple demerits for that from this quarter.

And then they brought in the clowns.  Some guy who claimed to be a pollster, polled twenty members of the audience and told them what to think and they made the appropriate noises.  Beep, beep.

Altogether it was great.  When the performers had left the ring and the crowd had trailed out the post-show compered by Sean Hannity was at least as good as the main show.  The performers removed, well, not blackface but darkface at least and gosh were they a whiter shade of pale. Ted Cruz didn’t look mestizo at all.

Trump of course was still the main attraction, this time handled with more deference by Hannity.  Don looks good, my only concern is how deferential will he have to be to those who lent him the money to get where he is.  Is there any light between them and him?

Remember, Louis B. Mayer got all the credit for MGM but look at the MGM logo.  A great big lion roars over a small Metro Goldwyn Mayer banner.  Lion in Yiddish is loewe and Loewe’s is the NYC company who controlled MGM and Louis B. Mayer.  I wonder if Don dances to the same ringmasters.